


Richard RK900 Makes a Groupchat For All of His Friends (it goes downhill)

by orphan_account



Series: there is no place like home when you got no place to go [6]
Category: Detroit: Become Human (Video Game)
Genre: Crack, Group chat, M/M, all of his literally five friends, rating for cursing lmaoooo, richard made a gc with all of his friends in it, things so south
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-09-15
Updated: 2019-09-24
Packaged: 2020-10-18 19:20:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 2,915
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20644346
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: Connor: hi welcome to chilisGavin: oml yall meme??Gavin: i had no idea that the leaders of the revolution can meme.Tina: isnt that from the 10s tho?North: Vine will never die





	1. It all goes downhill from here.

**Author's Note:**

> ive been having trouble with motivation for my writing, especially since school is now absolutely consuming all of my time. but i really want to still make some content for yall. so... gc fic. here it is i guess . ~ . kinda inspired by how stupid popular gc fics were in some other fandoms i fell out of touch with idk. i promise my other fics will be completed, but i realized that i only really have the time to work on them during weekends, holidays, and extra days off. but a gc fic is faster in comparison. 
> 
> for those who haven't read the other stories in this series thats fine, but here is some context so u dont have to go root thru those first lol 
> 
> connor and hank did not.... get along in this series. im sorry. i DO have a planned redemption arc for hank though!! itll happen eventually, once im done with famed infamy, pm700, and dont walk away. 
> 
> connor didnt go back to the dpd. hes in charge of jericho's security and defense, as well as being a delegate. alongside markus, north, josh, and simon. 
> 
> catherine is tina's android partner. she is a PM700 and the only android other than Richard to work for the DPD
> 
> richard watches movies every friday with connor and north. he loves the terminator moves. a lot. 
> 
> richard has a pet cat that he named 'terminator'

_ **5:07 PM** _

_**RK900 #313 248 317 - 87, Designation: Richard has created a groupchat.** _

_**RK900 #313 248 317 - 87**_, _**Designation: Richard has named the groupchat: All of my friends (North made me do this.)**_

_ **RK900 #313 248 317 - 87, Designation: Richard has changed their name to: Richard** _

_ **WR400 #641 790 831, Designation: North has been added by Richard** _

_ **RK800 #313 248 317 - 51, Designation: Connor has been added by Richard.  
** _

_ **1 (313)-987-1182 has been added by Richard.** _

_ **PM700 #654 990 192, Designation: Catherine has been added by Richard.  
** _

_ **1 (313)-447-0901 has been added by Richard.  
** _

_ **1 (313)-987-1182: Richard, you seriously have only five friends? No offense.  
** _

_ **Richard: None taken. ** _

_ **PM700 #654 990 192, Designation: Catherine: And of those people, three are from work.  
** _

_ **Richard has changed PM700 #654 990 192, Designation: Catherine's name to Catherine** _

_ **Richard has changed 1 (313)-987-1182's name to Tina. ** _

_ **Richard has changed 1 (313)-447-0901's name to Gavin. ** _

_ **Richard has changed WR400 #641 790 831, Designation: North's name to North. ** _

_ **Richard has changed RK800 #313 248 317 - 51, Designation: Connor's name to Connor.** _

_ **Connor: hi welcome to chilis** _

_ **Gavin: oml yall meme?? ** _

_ **Gavin: i had no idea that the leaders of the revolution can meme.** _

_ **Tina: isnt that from the 10s tho? ** _

_ **North: Vine will never die** _

_ **North has changed their name to: the queen** _

_ **North has changed Connor's name to: murder twink** _

_ **murder twink: uwu thanks north** _

_ **Gavin: my life just flashed before my eyes** _

_ **Gavin: "uwu"? ** _

_ **murder twink: UwU OwO** _

_ **Gavin: oh god. ** _

_ **Tina: I already have the sinking suspicion that this was a mistake. ** _

_ **the queen: This is already starting to look like the gc that Markus tried to make lol** _

_ **Richard: The what? ** _

_ **the queen: It was Makus, Connor, Josh, Simon and I** _

_ **the queen: I still have screenshots~** _

_ **5:27 PM:** _

_**1 (313)-447-0901**_ _**created a private chat with RK800 #313 248 317 - 51, Designation: Connor**_

_ **1 (313)-447-0901: Okay. I feel the need to apologize.  
** _

_ **1 (313)-447-0901: I was kind of a giant dick to you and the others for a while.  
** _

_ **RK800 #313 248 317 - 51, Designation: Connor: its fine, detective. its been a year. and obviously if richard has befriended you, you must have changed  
** _

_ **RK800 #313 248 317 - 51, Designation: Connor: but if u hurt him north has threatened to kill u so  
** _

_ **1 (313)-447-0901: Yeah. I'm fine with her doing that.  
** _

_ **1 (313)-447-0901: Seriously though, I pointed a gun at you. You're fine with that?  
** _

_ **RK800 #313 248 317 - 51, Designation: Connor: yeah im over it. ur not the only person whos pointed a gun at me. not even the only person at the dpd. fuck, even my own double pointed a gun at me once. i just have one of those faces.  
** _

_ **1 (313)-447-0901: By your double, do you mean Richard?  
** _

_ _

_ **RK800 #313 248 317 - 51, Designation: Connor: no  
** _

_ **2:11 AM** _

_ **All of my friends (North made me do this.)** _

_ **murder twink: ravioli ravioli give me the death i deservioli** _

_ **the queen: Why arent you in stasis** _

_ **murder twink: why arent u** _

_ **the queen: fair point** _

_ **Gavin: yall it is 2 in the fucking morning holy shit. yall woke me up. ** _

_ **murder twink: i am about to send the entire bee movie script into this chat. i will send it every five minutes. just because u said that** _

_ **the queen: Please anything but the bee movie** _

_ **murder twink: fine. ** _

_ **murder twink: The FitnessGram™ Pacer Test is a multistage aerobic capacity test that progressively gets more difficult as it continues. The 20 meter pacer test will begin in 30 seconds. Line up at the start. The running speed starts slowly, but gets faster each minute after you hear this signal. [beep] A single lap should be completed each time you hear this sound. [ding] Remember to run in a straight line, and run as long as possible. The second time you fail to complete a lap before the sound, your test is over. The test will begin on the word start. On your mark, get ready, start.** _

_ **murder twink: The FitnessGram™ Pacer Test is a multistage aerobic capacity test that progressively gets more difficult as it continues. The 20 meter pacer test will begin in 30 seconds. Line up at the start. The running speed starts slowly, but gets faster each minute after you hear this signal. [beep] A single lap should be completed each time you hear this sound. [ding] Remember to run in a straight line, and run as long as possible. The second time you fail to complete a lap before the sound, your test is over. The test will begin on the word start. On your mark, get ready, start.** _

_ **murder twink: The FitnessGram™ Pacer Test is a multistage aerobic capacity test that progressively gets more difficult as it continues. The 20 meter pacer test will begin in 30 seconds. Line up at the start. The running speed starts slowly, but gets faster each minute after you hear this signal. [beep] A single lap should be completed each time you hear this sound. [ding] Remember to run in a straight line, and run as long as possible. The second time you fail to complete a lap before the sound, your test is over. The test will begin on the word start. On your mark, get ready, start.** _

_ **Richard has muted murder twink. ** _

_ **Richard: Go to bed, all three of you.** _

_ **Richard: Connor, I'll unmute you in the morning. ** _

_ **2:20:** _

_ **The Brotherchat  
** _

_**Eights: et brute** _

_ **Nines: Go into stasis. Or I'll send Markus an alert with screenshots of you fucking around at unholy hours of the morning. ** _

_ **EIghts: fine** _

_ **Eights: meanie ):<** _


	2. the big gay

_**6:27 PM** _

_ **All of my friends (North made me do this.)** _

_ **Gavin: i wonder how many gay people are in this chat** _

_ **Gavin: by my calculations, a lot** _

_ **Richard: How does that even work? ** _

_ **Gavin: prior knowledge and inference** _

_ **Catherine: ?** _

_ **Gavin: well there is tina and i, and richard is ace which is not gay but not straight either so whatever. and judging by the fact that north and connor know what the work "twink" means and have no problem using it, probably them too. ** _

_ **the queen: Ya'll are wild** _

_ **Gavin: see the yall? north is not a southerner, and the only people who use yall are gays and southerners. therefore north is not straight i rest my case.** _

_ **the queen: I thought it was common knowledge tbh ** _

_ **Catherine: What was common knowledge? ** _

_ **the queen: The fact that I have a crippling hatred for all men** _

_ **the queen: Except for Richard and Connor, you two are cool** _

_ **Richard: Thank you, North.** _

_ **the queen: Even if u text like a dweeb** _

_ **murder twink: lol** _

_ **Gavin: you have been awfully quiet on the whole "whos gay" thing, "murder twink."** _

_ **murder twink: i will neither confirm nor deny. ** _

_ **the queen: well ** _

_ **the queen has changed the groupchat's name to: not a single drop of straight** _

_ **Gavin: is this what this gc is becoming? a very strange, interspecies lgbt clique? ** _

_ **murder twink: essentially yes** _

_ **murder twink: sorry Richard lol** _

_ **Richard: its fine** _

_ **6:49** _

_ **North and Richard Private Chat** _

_ **North: Yo can I add someone to the gay chat** _

_ **Richard: Depends on who. ** _

_ **North: Markus, I wanna see how Connor reacts** _

_ **North: For science** _

_ **Richard: .** _

_ **Richard: Okay sure why not. ** _

_ **7:01 ** _

_ **not a single drop of straight** _

_ **RK200 #684 842 971, Designation: Markus has been added by the queen.  
** _

_ **the queen has changed RK200 #684 842 971, Designation: Markus' name to: Robojesus** _

_ **Robojesus: North why? ** _

_ **the queen: Because reasons** _

_ **Richard: Hello, Markus. ** _

_ **Robojesus: Hello, Richard. May I ask what is going on? ** _

_ **Richard: Sure. The groupchat started as North's way of trying to get me to communicate better with my friends, but it has since fallen apart. ** _

_ **Gavin: dick had five friends. that is just straight depressing. ** _

_ **Richard: And how many friends do you have, Gavin? ** _

_ **Gavin: uh. like three? ** _

_ **Richard: .** _

_ **Gavin: i mean i used to have more but we kinda drifted apart? ** _

_ **Gavin: like i used to be friends with anderson but we dont talk anymore and jon and chris are... gone. so. ** _

_ **Robojesus: And who are you? ** _

_ **Gavin: hi im gavin** _

_ **Robojesus: I assumed that was your name. Considering that was what your contact in this groupchat is. And Richard addressed you as that.** _

_ **Gavin has changed their name to: not gavin** _

_ **Robojesus: .** _

_ **murder twink: hi markus** _

_ **Robojesus: I assume that is Connor? ** _

_ **murder twink: how could you tell????** _

_ **Robojesus: Your grammar.** _

_ **murder twink: .** _

_ **Richard: Everyone is changing their names. ** _

_ **not gavin: yeah i guess we are. ** _

_ **not gavin: why you want a cool name? ** _

_ **Richard: It looks fun. ** _

_ **the queen: I've got one** _

_ **the queen has changed Richard's name to: The Terminator** _

_ **The Terminator: Thank you North, I like it very much. ** _

_ **The Terminator: :) ** _

_ **not gavin: oh my god he just used an emoticon. ** _

_ **10:32** _

_ **not a single drop of straight** _

_ **murder twink: uwu** _

_ **Robojesus: Connor go to bed. ** _

_ **the queen: owo** _

_ **not gavin: UwU** _

_ **Robojesus: What?** _

_ **The Terminator: Oh no. ** _

_ **murder twink: OwO** _

_ **the queen: UWU** _

_ **not gavin: OWO ** _

_ **murder twink: AwA** _

_ **not gavin: put that back where it came from or so help me.** _

_ **murder twink: . ** _

_ **murder twink: YwY** _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> for those wondering who jon is, in this series he is an android he worked for the dpd, he was partnered with chris. they got murdered sorry.


	3. connor uses caps lock

_ **8:34 AM** _

_ **not a single drop of straight** _

_ **not gavin: axadsgwukddi** _

_ **not gavin: THE TABLOIDS ARE AT IT AGAIN KIDS** _

_ **not gavin: this is almost as bad as when dick first got hired for the dpd lol. ** _

_ **The Terminator: I doubt that it's that bad. ** _

_ **not gavin: check the web today lol** _

_ **The Terminator: Okay. ** _

_ **not gavin: hhhhhhhh** _

_ **The Terminator: .** _

_ **The Terminator: I stand corrected. ** _

_ **The Terminator: This is worse. ** _

_ **not gavin: ?** _

_ **murder twink: FUCK** _

_ **murder twink: FUCKING BALLS SHIT ASS FUCK NO** _

_ **not gavin: oh boy. ** _

_ **murder twink: FUCK** _

_ **the queen: Well** _

_ **murder twink: FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK** _

_ **not gavin: its just rumors, right? nothing a little pr cant fix.** _

_ **not gavin: wait.** _

_ **murder twink: HHHHHHHHHHHHHHH** _

_ **Robojesus: Connor, you need to remain calm. If we remain calm we can sort this out. ** _

_ **the queen: I think we're a bit past the point of no return buddy** _

_ **not gavin: there?? are pictures??** _

_ **Tina: Duuuuudes the internet is on fire right now my godddd** _

_ **not gavin: connor r u and markus actually a /thing/? ** _

_ **murder twink: SHUT YOUR WHORE MOUTH REED** _

_ **not gavin: ho ly shit this is all coming together. ** _

_ **Tina: Is this a weird ass dream??? Am I high??? Did someone spike my food??** _

_ **Catherine: Well isn't this just a disaster. ** _

_ **The Terminator: It is indeed. ** _

_ **not gavin: shit i need to go to work now. how do yall think our coworkers are gonna react?** _

_ **Tina: Poorly** _

_ **12:37 PM** _

_ **not a single drop of straight** _

_ **not gavin: only halfway through the day and im already done.** _

_ **The Terminator: Lunch break is flying by too fast.** _

_ **the queen: How is the DPD doing today** _

_ **not gavin: i need a nap. ** _

_ **the queen: We've been having pr discussions all day in Jericho and we only just made a decision** _

_ **the queen: Shits going down lol** _

_ **The Terminator: Are you at liberty to talk about what decisions you have made? ** _

_ **the queen: Yes** _

_ **the queen: Connor and Markus are going public, so that'll be fun** _

_ **not gavin: oof** _

_ **not gavin: at least most of the homophobes are also anti-android. sure theres tons of people that are anti-android but not homophobic, but im yet to meet a homophobe who isnt anti-android. one of those not all fruit are apples but all apples are fruit things. ** _

_ **the queen: Weird comparison but okay ** _

_ **the queen: Those religious nuts are gonna be ten times harder to deal with tho** _

_ **not gavin: big yikes for that.** _

_ **the queen: Yeah basically** _

_ **murder twink: im here now ** _

_ **murder twink: im calmer now** _

_ **not gavin: well good, you were freaking out earlier. i thought you were gonna do the android equivalent of having an aneurysm** _

_ ** murder twink: that can actually happen u kno ** _

_ ** murder twink: if an androids thirium pump is beating too hard and fast for a prolonged time the surrounding thirium lines will swell ** _

_ ** not gavin: oh ** _

_ ** murder twink: its only happened in a few times tho postrevolution. it was pretty common before bc of androids overexerting themselves when they ran away. but im only aware of two instances since ** _

_ ** not gavin: thats good i guess. ** _

_ ** 12:59 ** _

_ ** The Brotherchat ** _

_ ** Nines: Are you okay? ** _

_ ** Eights: im fine ** _

_ ** Nines: I mean. This must be tough. ** _

_ ** Eights: ill be okay nines ** _

_ ** Nines: Are you sure? ** _

_ ** Eights: yes ** _

_ ** Eights: plus now i can hold my boyfriends hand in public. thats something ** _

_ ** Nines: Okay. ** _

_ ** Nines: Stay safe, Eights. I don't want you and the others to get hurt. ** _

_ ** Eights: well be okay dont worry ** _

_ ** Eights: weve been thru worse we will go thru things worse than this again ** _

_ ** Eights: in the end itll work out ** _

_ ** Nines: Just be careful, okay? ** _

_ ** Nines: And don't let anyone walk all over you either. ** _

_ ** Eights: alright ** _

_ **7:43** _

_ **not a single drop of straight** _

_ **The Terminator: Everyone, I feel the need to tell you that over the course of the day Detective Gavin Reed has consumed exactly two granola bars, one fast food taco that contained over 2,000 calories, over nine ounces of caffeinated beverages, and no water.** _

_ **not gavin: wtf is this** _

_ **The Terminator: An intervention. ** _

_ **Tina: Drink ur fucking water Gavin** _

_ **not gavin: no** _

_ **Tina: >:(** _

_ **murder twink: eat healthier or ill have north throw u in the river** _

_ **not gavin: jokes on u connor i wanna die** _

_ **The Terminator: DETECTIVE!** _

_ **murder twink: lol honestly same tho** _

_ **The Terminator: CONNOR NO** _


	4. eyebleach

_ **9:43 PM** _

_ **not a single drop of straight** _

_ **the queen: azbadjeaejusxniwe** _

_ **the queen: NO** _

_ **Robojesus: We're sorry.** _

_ **not gavin: yo wtf is going on??** _

_ **the queen: I NEED EYEBLEACH** _

_ **not gavin: ??** _

_ **murder twink: this is why we knock kiddos** _

_ **The Terminator: What happened? ** _

_ **the queen: FuCK** _

_ **The Terminator: North? ** _

_ **Robojesus: North, I'm sorry. Connor is sorry.** _

_ **the queen: YA'LL ** _

_ **the queen: I WALKED IN ON CONNOR AND MARKUS** _

_ **not gavin: oh my god** _

_ **Tina: I notice the gc is blowing up. I click. I see this** _

_ **murder twink: .** _

_ **the queen: WHY DIDNT YALL LOCK THE DOOR????** _

_ **murder twink: why didnt u knock??** _

_ **the queen: IT WAS FUCKING WEIRD TOO** _

_ **murder twink: .** _

_ **the queen: HELLA KINKY SHIT** _

_ **The Terminator has muted the queen.** _

_ **The Terminator: I do not need to hear about Connor and Markus' sex life please and thank you. ** _

_ **The Terminator: I will unmute North when she is ready to talk about this without giving us unnecessary information. ** _

_ **not gavin: this is so trippy like what.** _

_ **6:30 PM ** _

_ **not a single drop of straight** _

_ **The Terminator has unmuted the queen** _

_ **the queen: Markus is a bottom** _

_ **The Terminator has muted the queen** _

_ **not gavin: ...** _

_ **The Terminator: Nobody needed to know this. North why? ** _

_ **Catherine: I have remained silent throughout this, and now I feel the need to add my two cents.** _

_ **Catherine: What. The. Fuck.** _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> short update today because.... ill be updating one of my real fics! yay!


	5. this is a dictatorship

_ **6:45** _

_ **not a single drop of straight** _

_ **not gavIn: creeper!** _

_ **Tina: Gav this meme is literally 20 years old wtf** _

_ **not gavin: wow. good to know you are my friend, tina. ** _

_ **murder twink: CREEPER** _

_ **not gavin: AW MAN ** _

_ **murder twink: SO WE BACK IN THE MINE** _

_ **not gavin: GOT OUR PICKAXE SWINGING FROM SIDE TO SIDE** _

_ **murder twink: SIDE SIDE TO SIDE** _

_ **not gavin: THIS TASK A GRUELING ONE ** _

_ **murder twink: HOPE TO FIND SOME DIAMONDS TONIGHT** _

_ **not gavin: NIGHT NIGHT DIAMONDS TONIGHT** _

_ **murder twink: HEADS UP U HEAR A SOUND TURN AROUND AND LOOK UP** _

_ **not gavin: TOTAL SHOCK FILLS UR BODY** _

_ **murder twink: IS THIS THE END** _

_ **not gavin: CANT BELIEVE ITS U AGAIN** _

_ **murder twink: I COULD NEVER FORGET THOSE EYES EYES EYES ** _

_ **The Terminator: What is this? ** _

_ **not gavin: FUCK** _

_ **not gavin: WE WERE DOING SO GOOD** _

_ **murder twink: ;,,(** _

_ **Tina: They were doing a meme that was popular when Gav and I were teenagers** _

_ **The Terminator: I see. ** _

_ **murder twink: okay okay lets do this again** _

_ **not gavin: CREEPER** _

_ **murder twink: aW mAN** _

_ **Robojesus: We're having a meeting now. ** _

_ **murder twink: hhhh okay** _

_ **not gavin: aw man** _

_ **8:95:** _

_ **not a single drop of straight** _

_ **murder twink: nines** _

_ **not gavin: dick** _

_ **the queen: Richard** _

_ **The Terminator: What is it? ** _

_ **murder twink: u need moderators this is a dictatorship** _

_ **the queen: yes yes** _

_ **not gavin: cmon dick. ** _

_ **The Terminator: Okay. ** _

_ **The Terminator has made murder twink a moderator.** _

_ **The Terminator has made not gavin a moderator.** _

_ **The Terminator: There.** _

_ **not gavin: well that was easier then i thought it would be. ** _

_ **the queen: Why am I not a moderator?** _

_ **The Terminator: Because you have proved yourself untrustworthy.** _

_ **murder twink: lol time to abuse my power** _

_ ** **PL600 #501 743 923, Designation: Simon has been added by murder twink.  
** ** _

_ ** **PJ500 #009 215 043, Designation: Josh has been added by murder twink. ** ** _

_ ** **murder twink has changed PL600 #501 743 923, Designation: Simon's name to Simon.** ** _

_ ** **murder twink has PJ500 #009 215 043, Designation: Josh's name to Josh.  
** ** _

_ ** **the queen: axaggshasd** ** _

_ ** **the queen: WHY DID YOU FEEL THE NEED TO ADD JOSH??** ** _

_ ** **murder twink: because i am an agent of chaos** ** _

_ ** **The Terminator: I am already regretting making Connor a moderator. And I thought Gavin would be the troublemaker. ** ** _

_ ** **Simon: What** ** _

_ ** **Catherine: This is a groupchat that Richard RK900 made in order to connect closer with his friends. ** ** _

_ ** **Catherine: But Connor and North broke it. ** ** _

_ ** **murder twink: i break things that is just what i do** ** _

_ ** **murder twink: UwU** ** _


End file.
